Hubby's sister is on life support and they were supposed to take her off life support this morning as there really isn't any hope for recovery. However another sister just arrived at the hospital this morning from another part of the country and when the doctor came in to have the final discussion, this sister wanted to wait a few more days (she is the spiritual sister who is convinced God will intervene and her sister will be miraculously saved).
Cue another zoom call with the dying sister's kids and all of her siblings debating her fate. The doctor was really good, laying out the options--everything from taking her off life support today and she would most likely pass immediately, to waiting a few more days, to aggressive treatment that will keep her alive, via machines, for the undetermined future. He pointed out it should be a group decision instead of putting all of the pressure on her kids to decide. Then he kind of waited while a lively discussion ensued, in three languages, by the people with her in her hospital room and several people online. The consensus was to wait one more day then take her off life support tomorrow.
So the few things I learned about dying today are: have a will, a living will, and medical power of attorney so your life, or lack thereof, doesn't come down to a debate between family members, and make your wishes clearly known to your family members while you are still of sound mind and body. The debate today was "what would she want done in a situation like this?" and since she didn't have a living will and had never mentioned what her final wishes would be, the suggestions ranged from take her off life support now since there is no hope of recovery so why make her suffer longer, to wait several days to see if her health somehow improves (very unlikely). No one wants to make a decision like this for their loved one (what if we pull the plug too soon and she could have lived longer? what if we wait too long and she suffers needlessly?) so it's important to make these decisions for yourself so no one feels guilty for the rest of their life because they had to make a choice between life and death for anther person.